When enough is enough...

It's damn near impossible to want to go back to the way things were when you know of the possible outcomes. Because you have been through it. Experienced it. Got hurt. Learned a lot. Maybe jumped back into it with a strong sense of hope only to get hurt again.

FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU. FOOL ME TWICE, SHAME ON ME.

Why is it so hard to get over that person? That experience? Even knowing what you know?

It's because even with all of that, there will always be the small hope that things would be amazing like it was in the beginning. Perfect in a way.

"Kari, it's a bad idea and not worth it. You will get hurt again".

Something I don't really need to be told, cause deep down, I know it's a true statement.

So how exactly do you reboot then? Not sure...I'm still working on it. It's a lot better but I still hate that I get that twinge of butterflies when you text me. I don't want to feel that anymore at all. I don't want to feel anything at all about it. It would be easier for me. Just as everyone has said though, time does heal. In time, I'm sure it will happen. I just wish I could speed it up. 

And not to join the craze, (okay I'm joining the craze. It's too hard not too!) Reading Twilight has honestly changed my perspective on love. I know it is  fiction. I KNOW vampires do not exist. But why not hope that that kind of binding love for someone does exist? I would hope it does! THAT is how a relationship should be. Where you are just completely in love with someone that no matter if it is one year or 50 years in a relationship down the road, you still melt when you see them. That is what I want, and I hope one day, I'm lucky enough to experience that:) So thank you Twilight for showing me that me being picky is not silly. haha If I'm waiting for something as immense as that, then it is freaking worth it. 

On another note. Updates?

It's in the works of a possible move to San Diego with my lovely ladies.

"Kari, you always say you are moving and it never goes through"

This I know haha Honestly though, the last 3 moves I was going to do were going to go through. Things fell through on other ends and unfortunately I seem like the flake haha But I truly was going to move all three times. I feel that maybe things fell through for a reason? There always is a reason for the way things turn out. Sometimes it just takes a bit to realize it! Maybe Denver didn't work out, so that I would finally move to another state like I've always wanted to. I WILL end back in Colorado. Denver is my home and always will be. But a change is needed and if I'm going to settle into a job in colorado, I want to have traveling/moving out of my system and continue with no regrets. So unless I cannot find a job in San Diego, I will be moving there in august of 2009 with my two ashleys and Bre. And I will be closer to Kelly! 

Also, my computer's hard drive not only crashed, but so did the whole MOTHERBOARD haha my luck lately haha. Luckily I still have applecare so it will be technically a whole new computer when i get it back in a few days. I can't wait to have it back! I also have seen my car transform from a POS which had no hope of running again, to something that is looking like my batmobile again! Dad the miracle worker! I should have it back in a couple weeks and will get to see more of my friends! I feel like it has been months! frick! I miss you all terribly! 

Well, after the insane night last night, I am still feeling it haha I think it is time for me to go ice my knee from the hilarious fall I was involved in and maybe eat some yummers in the fridge. Photo dump to occur soon when I get my computer back! Till then, take care e-world! besos!

OH AND PS. IM BUYING THIS TOMORROW. DON'T JUDGE ME:)