I'm learning to breathe

Literally and figuratively. I don't know why, but although today was one of those all around great days, I still cannot keep my mind from wandering. I had so much fun with my mom and sister today. Walked around winter wonderland and enjoyed the looks of the holidays:) Then we had dinner at the CUTEST crepes place ever. Finally, went to see Twilight. Again. haha We can't help but be GaGa over what we wish could be real lol. I mean, that is one dreamy vampire. Even with all of this, for some reason I still keep thinking about the past today. I usually don't. It's usually tucked away in the back of my mind. But a couple times a year I can't help but remember it. 

I wonder why was I, of all people who are sick, kept here when she was not supposed to be. Why did my family have to go through what they did. Why am I still thinking about it. And why does it sometimes still bother me?

That whole hospital experience did teach me so much. I learned more about life, and how strong I really could be. How strong my family could be. How strong my friends could be. Who truly meant the world to me. Who my real friends were. What I still don't get, is am I here for a reason? I mean...My parents were told to say their goodbyes. 2% is pretty much a zero chance of survival. I guess my stubbornness came in handy haha. But with this so called "miracle" as everyone called it, is there something I'm meant to do? I wish I knew what it was. I don't know...I guess this is what runs through my mind every so often. 

I don't regret what happened. Even with how horrible it was, I'm thankful for it. For how much I learned from it. And I have the best family/friends in the world. Without them, I would not be here. Only with this family could I be hooked up to a million tubes and still laugh harder than ever. (Adam's Techno Dolphin. Don't ask haha) 

I guess with this event coming up in my mind every so often, it helps remind me how fragile life is. And how quickly things can change. Overnight! Literally. It's scary. And I think about if I had been in my family's place and someone I loved were on the other end. It would be hard to be that strong. And any day I would trade places with them so I didn't have to see them hurting. Be thankful for what you have. Be grateful for your family. Never take it for granted. :) I know I won't...

Phew...Guess I need to get that out. I've never really written about it. It's different than talking about it. Not sure why. 

Moving to a better topic though: Kelly is home! I've been so happy that she is home for break. I realize how much I miss her when she is gone...

This break has been so wonderful. Thanksgiving with dad in the morning, then to the mountains for dinner with family. The cutest grandma of life spiked our punch haha Her Dutch accent sure is thicker with booze lol Then, Ladies night/movies nights in the days to follow, etc. Went to Denver with my girls for ladies night at the Rio and then out after. However, some of our guy friends were bitter they weren't invited so they decided to have a boys night out in Denver haha. Sillies. Ironically, we ran into them on the way to Maloney's and our group then merged to 15 and walked to get more drinks haha Dancing, fun, friends. Great night! 

Well, It is getting past my bedtime. Time to go cuddle Kelly haha Flashback to elementary school days. Awwww haha Goodnight!